Somewhere out there in the world is a man who wants me to tell him what a tiny, insignificant, pathetic little penis he has. Not only does he want to hear how sickening I find him, he wants to pay me to say it. In truth, there are hundreds, even thousands of these men…and they’re all looking for a Goddess to serve.
What Findom Is, and What It Isn’t
I was shocked to find that there was a whole fetish entirely based around emasculating and humiliating straight males. They want to be degraded, but more than anything, they want to do whatever it takes to please their Goddess.
In findom, the dominating female is generally referred to as a Goddess or Mistress. If you scroll through Twitter, you’ll find that the sub, or submissive male, is often referred to as a paypig, a human ATM, and so forth.
Each Mistress plays her own role. She can choose to be kind or tender in some instances, or bossy and demanding. Either way, her time isn’t free, and she expects to be paid for her services. However, she doesn’t abuse or extort the sub.
She takes time to get to know them, find out what they like, and what the boundaries are.
Findom is a little different from sex work.
You can go through just about any social media app and find that there are scores of women trying to find their way in the industry. Not only do they NOT find a real sub, but they also end up getting scammed for nudes, or worse, their bank info.
I can’t count the number of girls who’d post about the plethora of possibilities when it came to getting ripped off. Fake subs would offer to purchase something for them through Amazon if they sent a photo. After receiving the pic, they cancelled the order.
Other girls got tricked into sending “samples” or “verification,” which is basically offering up free shit to horny randos.
Although I too was new to this interesting niche, it was obvious that there was a lot of confusion about how things should operate.
Findom is NOT:
- Selling nudes
- Selling videos
- Entertaining a sugar daddy
- Becoming an escort
I like to think of it as a form of roleplay, but it’s not the “I’m a sexy nurse, look at my awesome tits popping out of this dress” kind.
It’s more like “You’re pretty pathetic, but I’ll give you my time. Now go buy a cheap red lipstick and put it on like the pig you are. “
I had a sub actually request this, and then he sent me $50 to do it.
Shit, $50 just for that? Why not.
The “doms” who get scammed are usually doing a whole lot more, for a whole lot less money. Findom is not posting a 30-second video of someone shoving an anal plug in their ass and selling it for $5.99 on their Onlyfans account.
…And if you’re charging that little on your Onlyfans…girl, you’re doing it WRONG.
But I’ll save that topic for another blog.
I will say that for every 100 fake subs you meet, you might get one or two who are genuinely looking to connect. Wait for those higher paying clients, and don’t get greedy when a member of the Pornhub fanclub offers a couple of bucks to see your vagina.
There’s a bit of truth to that Smashmouth song…some of you ladies really are lookin’ kinda dumb, with your finger and your thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead.
Pros and Cons
Getting into findom doesn’t require an ounce of experience. I don’t know if any of you remember that MTV series True Life, but there was an entire episode about women and men who made their living strictly through the beautiful gift that is financial domination.
These were just regular people, in regular clothes, with regular spouses. As long as you’re smart and safe, anyone can be a Mistress…or a Goddess, whichever you prefer, Queen.
While I loved the quick money, I loved the empowerment that I got from it even more. I indulged in the fact that my sub was all about me, all the time. He wanted my attention, he liked sending me money, and he wanted to serve me!
Like most things in life, there’s always a catch. In my real life, I am not a particularly demanding person. I like to be polite, gracious, and helpful, or at least I’d like to be portrayed this way. In addition to feeling out of my element, I also grappled with a sense of guilt.
I understood that this was roleplay, my sub loved it, he never stopped wanting my attention. For some reason though, I couldn’t help but feel like one of those school bullies. You know, those little pricks who pick on other kids and steal their lunch money.
It Got To Be a Little Overwhelming
While I stopped my “trial period” short around $100, there’s no telling how much I might have made had I continued. I promise, I’m not exaggerating when I say that these men want to occupy your time. Day in, day out, message after message.
To me, it just wasn’t worth actively pursuing. It wasn’t an income stream or a career I wanted to pursue. So, I cut ties and left it at that.
I haven’t tried findom in quite some time, but if the right sub came along?